“You will surely wear yourself out, also you and also this people who are with you. This is too difficult for you, you cannot do it by yourself.”(Shemot 18:18)
Yitro, Moshe’s father in law, saw that Moshe took responsibility for helping the Jewish people in spiritual matters. When he saw the big load on his shoulders he advised him to delegate authority and by this means share the burden with others.
Yitro saw how Moses sat all day to listen to other people.
So he advised him to create a system in which he would delegate by “selecting prophetically amongst the People men of wealth who are G-d fearing, men of integrity and who despise monetary gain and appoint them over the people as officers of thousands, officers of hundreds, officers of fifty, and officers of ten.”(Shemot 18:22)
Till today this has become the legal system used in many countries.
When a person is idealistic and good hearted, and has all the intention to help others, sometimes he might fall into the trap of thinking that he has to do it all by himself, if not he is not doing enough.
But when helping others we have also an obligation to ourselves. We need to weigh the burden and see if it’s too heavy of a load. There are always other good hearted people around that are eager to help.
There is a story told about the Chazon Ish, there was a communal leader who constantly came to him for advise. Once he asked him about a difficult matter which was not relevant for the moment. The Chazon Ish said to him that it was not relevant at the moment, to what the man said:”I know, but it might come up in the future.”
The elderly Chazon Ish answered:” people make a mistake about me. They think that I just pull out my opinions and advise from my shirtsleeves. Every time I need to make a decision for someone it steals a piece of my health. When a matter is necessary I make an effort. But whenever it’s not really necessary, I have an obligation to fulfill the commandment to guard one’s health.”(P’air Hador pg 78 Vol 4)
For those who are nurturers, givers, helpers, caregivers, etc… remember you need to take care of you, not out of selfishness but out of the love you have for yourself and others.
