“Praying For Forgiveness” In our prayers before and during the High Holiday we repeatedly ask G-d to forgive us in three different ways:
*Selach Lanu *Mechal Lanu*Kapper Lanu. While these Hebrew words are virtually synonymous – all meaning “forgive us”- they have different implications which shed light on the process of seeking forgiveness from G-d as well as from other human beings.
Selach Lanu comes from “selicha” meaning “pardon”. To ask for pardon is to acknowledge that one has harmed someone else and the regret that causes this acknowledgement gives us the strength not to do it again. “According to Jewish law, the correct response to this request is for the one we have injured to believe we are sincere and to respond positively. One who refuses to forgive is considered a cruel person”.
Mechal Lanu comes from the Hebrew word “Mechila”, meaning “wiping away”. Here we are asking the one we’ve injured to wipe away the transgression as if it never happened, and restore the relationship to the former level of warmth and intimacy. Although it is very difficult for the person that has been hurt to forgive in this level it is G-d given power in each person to be able to do so.
Kapper Lanu comes from “kapparah” meaning “atonement”. What we are saying by asking “Kapper Lanu” to the other is, “My conscience does not let me live knowing the pain I caused you, please forgive me and take away the guilt and hurt I feel”. The person that has been hurt must know that although the pain was caused by someone else it is also a Kapparah for him to feel this way. H”S send us the suffering so we can also clean whatever needs to be cleansed through the suffering. To respond positively to this type of atonement is beyond human capacity. It is only G-d who can reach inside our hearts and say “Be consoled”.
Ask yourself “How have you responded when someone has come asking for forgiveness? Have you forgiven others as completely as you want to be forgiven by G-d?
Taken from 60 Day Journey by Rabbi Simon Jacobson
