On Parashah “Matos” it says: “…. when a person makes a vow to G-d or makes any oath to prohibit himself (something which the Torah permits), he may not violate his word and he must act in accordance with whatever he uttered…” (Bamidbar 30:3)
The Jerusalem Talmud advises that one should avoid making vows although the Mishnah teaches that they can be a very valuable tool for a person to restrain himself from physical indulgence. In truth this two approaches don’t contradict each other because they are address two types of people. The Talmud is referring to a person who is able to utilize the physical pleasures (food, clothes, vacations, etc…) for holy purposes since he has the capacity to elevate the physical world and make it a home for H”S. On the other hand, the Mishnah addresses a person who can’t restrain himself for excessive physical indulgence, which interferes with his observance of the Torah.
Nevertheless the Torah looks for the way in which this vows can be annulled so a person is not tied to them, for promises unkept create a very big problem in our relationship with G-d and others.
On Yom Kipur on Kol Nidre we annul our vows that we did to H”S so we can start clean again. But when we make promises to others and we don’t keep them the damage we create is very hard to fix.
So it’s better to abstain ourselves from making vows and promises, it is better that if we want to take upon ourselves a new mitzvah or we want to promise something to someone we always say before “Bli Neder” (without promising) for promises carry with them very big consequences if we are not able to keep them.
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