In this nine days before the fast of Tisha B’Av we should be really working on acquiring baseless love towards everyone. A major underlying issue in many quarrels is that people feel that someone else didn’t treat them with the proper respect. In Pirkei Avot 4:1 it says:”Who is an honorable person? The one who shows honor and respect to others.” What it means is that your honor and respect do not depend on how others treat you. Rather, the more honor and respect you give to others, the more honorable you yourself are.
Two middle aged Torah Scholars, whose fathers were butchers on the East Side of Manhattan, remember frequently being sent to Rabbi Moshe Feinstein to answer their she’eilos (questions, in this case pertaining to kashrut). As children they knew him as a nice friendly man who never made them feel unimportant. As they grew older they realized with shock that their “friend” was one of Jewry’s greatest people.
Our attitude towards others, as Rabbi Feinstein exemplified, should be: “How would I feel, act, and talk if this person would be very important?”
It is very easy to give honor to those who are honorable, the challenge comes when we treat those who are not honorable with honor and respect. When we look through others we will be able to tap in to their Divine spark and see their potential instead of looking at their present state. If we can do this, then everyone is honorable.
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