In Parasha “Vayeishev” we learn that Yosef’s brothers were envious of him: “And they hated him and they were not able to speak to him for peace.”(Bereshit 37:4)
Rabbi Yonoson Eibeshutz commented that if the brothers would have spoken the matter over with Yosef, if they would of told him what bothered them about him, most likely they would of been able to make peace.
The problem was that they were not talking to each other.
When people are in the midst of a feud everyone wants to be heard, but no one wants to listen to the other. However, when one person says what is bothering him and the other listens a door opens to reconciliation.
When involved in a dispute with someone else, try to talk things over in a calm way. It is important to repeat the other person’s position. Keep asking: “is this what you mean?” Make sure there are no misunderstandings. Validate the other person’s point of view and at the same time make the other validate yours.
Every situation has many different realities, each person has his own reality and if we get out of ourselves and hover over the situation you will be able to see a higher reality, “G-d’s reality.”
Some excerpts taken from “Growth Through Torah” by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin
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