Funny, I woke up with this quote in my head, it kept coming to me repeatedly in my sleep. I guess it had to be said today.
When dealing with couples who are struggling in their marriage I have come to a realization that most of the problems come from how a spouse feels about the other. Some tell me “he is so negative, she is so anxious, he is not helpful,etc…” and the list goes on and on. I ask them “how was he or she before you married?” The answer is always the same “he was negative, she was anxious,….” so I ask “what changed?” The feelings changed because what didn’t bother us so much before now has taken a different size. This is because we put all our attention on the negative instead of the positive. If we accustomed ourselves to look at the good in the other and we enhance it, not only will our feelings be more positive but also the other will begin behaving with his better self and our deeds towards our spouse will be loving, caring and full of appreciation.
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