In Hebrew, “letting go” is called “bittul,”which really means “suspension of self.”
This is no easy task, we all have in a certain way a need to control, have the last word, and not let go.
Someone who has been able to achieve bittul has the ability to hear what another person has to say, he doesn’t need to proof he is right or anything to anyone, he is at peace with who he is and who others are.
Metaphorically speaking, even when we know how to swim we are often afraid to dive. I remember when I was a child and I would stand in the edge of the pool and count to ten, then to twenty, and so on, never getting the courage to just dive. Until someone would push me from behind.
Our fear is letting go.
We are terrified of the moment of suspension, when our feet leave the ground but do not hit the water yet.
Often to be able to pass the fear of suspension, when we don’t know what is going to be and we are in a limbo is to get help from a mentor, someone who will push us from behind into the water. Someone who will help us connect to the right outlet and show us where our switch is so we can turn it on.
Bittul is recognizing that we are part of G-d that in the whole picture we really don’t have an existence of our own.H”S conceals Himself in such a way that He allows us to feel separate from Him, but in reality we are not.
It’s like your hand might feel it has nothing to do with your brain, but the truth is that if the brain doesn’t send the signal the hand won’t move.
The month of Elul, is a month of introspection and work, try to recognize this reality and try this month to let go of everything that makes you a control freak and let G-d.
Some excerpts from “60 Days a Spiritual Guide to the High Holidays” Rabbi Simon Jacobson
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