One of the hardest things in our constant battle against the yetzer hara (evil inclination), is our habit and natural disposition to talk about others. It can be talking about one person or a group of people.
A good technique used in the book of “Battle Plans” by Rebbetzin Tzipora Heller and Sarah Yoheved Rigler, is to make sin repulsive to us by visualization.
When you are about to commit the sin of lashon hara (evil speech) or onaas devarim (hurting someone with words) by making a hurtful comment, imagine a terrotist with a two foot long knife about to attack the person you are talking to or about. As with all visualizations, the more detailed the scene the more powerful its impression on you. Imagine everything, from the sharpness of the knife to the face of terror of the other person. Psychologist teach by fact that verbal abuse can be more damaging than physical abuse. The wounds inflicted by words that are harmful never heal. So the visualized scene is not an exaggeration of the harm we can do with words.
If you don’t have anything kind to say it’s better to not say anything.
When educating our children, we must be very careful to choose the right words to say, they must be proactive, assertive and most importantly they must come from a place of love, compassion, and care.
www.livealittlehigher.com
